


a wonder in this weakness

by tromana



Series: In Another Life [3]
Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Religion, Religious Conflict, Religious Guilt, Secret Relationship, Theology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-13
Updated: 2013-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-08 08:47:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/759433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tromana/pseuds/tromana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grace still has inner conflicts about her relationship with Teresa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a wonder in this weakness

“Wow, _wow_ ,” Grace breathed.

It had taken her a long while to be able to formulate any sort of words. But then, Teresa had always managed to steal her breath away; it was only recently that the woman had realized she held that sort of power over her. Grace didn’t mind now; if anything, she felt more comfortable with the latest developments. There was something about it being in the open which made it feel a little less illicit, a little less _wrong._

Teresa was curled up by her side and instinctively, Grace started to draw small circles with her index finger across her bare skin. She was too tired to do anything more, too spent after what they had just done. But, she felt the incorrigible urge to keep on touching Teresa to remind herself that this had happened, therefore it _was_ real and it wasn’t just another fantasy drawn out from her vivid imagination.

Her eyes were suddenly drawn to the cross pendant which still hung around Teresa’s neck. She didn’t take it off; Grace doubted that she ever did. It was a connection with her mother, something she always wore. But it was also a connection to God, and that was enough to give Grace pause. Tentatively, she reached out and gently touched the gold cross, pulling away slightly as she did. She wasn’t the only one who had thought herself as being a good Christian girl. And that was her problem, the gnawing in the pit of her stomach. Her feelings for Teresa – what they had just done – was at odds with her religion. Even after all this time, she had never been able to find peace with herself in that regard.

When she realized what had caught her attention, Teresa frowned at her, propped herself upon her elbow and looked at Grace seriously. The expression reminded her of Teresa at work, when she being strictly ‘Lisbon, the boss’ rather than Teresa the woman.

“You’re worried,” she stated bluntly.

“Yes.” There was no point in denying it. Teresa was intuitive, and besides, she’d had lessons from Patrick Jane. She knew how to read people. “What would He-“

“He doesn’t.”

“But the Bible says…”

“The Bible was written by man, not God,” Teresa interrupted again, and her tone was firm.

“I know, but it’s God’s message, given to us through man.”

“Grace, how old is the Bible? When it was written, women were treated as possessions, not humans. Do you honestly believe God would endorse _that_ message?”

She stopped for a second, to think. Her father had always had a habit of portraying the Bible’s teachings literally; even though he was a pious man and attended church, he had never allowed her to attend the Presbyterian Sunday School. He didn’t want the message of God blemished, he’d said, not by the teachers there. Amos Van Pelt insisted he understood what God had to say far better than anyone there did and so, he took it upon himself to teach her what he believed. Not once had she even thought to question him; he was her superior, her elder and her father. Therefore, she had to respect him. But, there had always been teachings that had made her feel uncomfortable, both with the religion and herself as a person. It was difficult, trying to undo years of teaching, but she could see in Teresa’s eyes that she wanted her to think about it more fluidly. And already, she could see she was right.

“No,” she answered quietly.

“They altered the message for their needs. God loves you and He made you, didn’t he?”

“Yes…” she answered tentatively.

“And does He make mistakes?”

“No.”

“Then you have no need to worry.”

And there it was, like a light at the end of the tunnel. Grace knew there were still moments when she felt like she couldn’t be a Christian and have these feelings for women, but what Teresa said made perfect sense. There was nothing unnatural about what she felt; love was love. If she wasn’t meant to feel this way, then she wouldn’t have.

“What about you? Do you worry?”

“No,” Teresa said with confidence. “I am, however, more concerned about what my boss might think were he to find out about us.”

Grace smirked a little. “It does appear to be a little hypocritical,” she agreed wryly.

“I will fight for us, you know.”

“Me too,” Grace answered back with a smile.

Teresa soon fell quiet again, closed her eyes and settled down. That was enough theological debating for one night.

Besides, she had the right idea.

There was no need for her to keep questioning herself. Instead, it was time for her to start enjoying this moment of peace that she had fought so hard for. And really, she did need to get some sleep before the morning sun rose.

After all, even though she was sleeping with the boss, she was still expected to get to work on time in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from 'Freaks in Love' by Elton John


End file.
